I'd talk about my design as art class, and really just use it as a couple of pages of venting about the engineering curriculum. And not that that couldn't potentially have any value, but I've done it before, so in the spirit of using this blog to actually help me develop as I writer, I'm going to try something else.
But I'm not entirely should what that something else is going to be, so I'm going to stop here fore now and go think. (Of course, by the time you're actually reading this, there won't really be noticeable pause, but let's pretend...
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I wrote this beginning Tuesday night, just before I headed off to Bible Study. Actually, technically it wasn't just before, because just before I headed off to Bible Study, I did a quick review of my notes for what we were going to talk about. I had to do this quick review of my notes because I was co-leading Bible Study that night, and, in fact, co-lead the Bible Study that I'm a part of most weeks.
This is actually pretty weird for me to talk about, because growing up I never went to church at all, and through most of high school I identified pretty strongly as an atheist. And here I am four years later leading a Bible Study. Most of my friends (excepting the ones I met at church...) don't even know that I spend any time there, let alone that I spent a couple extra hours a week that I could be "having fun" on picking out Bible passages and reading them carefully with my co-leaders and designing a lesson around them.
I can take a step back even further now, and admit that I'm not just a leader of this particular Bible Study, I actually was one of its founders. So I'm spending extra time a week on something that wouldn't even exist without my urging.
And I was thinking, as I was trying to come up with something that I'm intrinsically motivated to do, that this was a pretty strong example. It's not even always fun, at least in a traditional sense. A lot of the RSOs that I'm a part of, I pick and choose the places where I want to get involved. Designing posters? Yea, I'm up for that. Emailing everyone and their mother? Count me out. The weeks where I've got too much to do? I'm not attending RSO meetings, but I am still prepping for and leading Bible Study.
It's hard work, and it's something that, if I want to do right, I really can't half ass. I have learned a lot about the Bible, and a lot about my faith, and it's something that I keep coming back to even when I'm burnt out on learning and school.
I think my motivation comes from the belief that learning this stuff is actually beneficial to me, and having positive results on my life. Not in the sense that I'm getting A's in church, but in the sense of a deeper understanding of the universe (this sounds so corny even as I'm writing it...) that just plain makes me feel good.
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I mean, is that what intrinsic motivation is? Something that you want to do just because it makes you feel good? I'm guessing that there's other components of it too, but I'm trying to think of an example where I do something that I don't have to do that doesn't make me feel good. I go above and beyond in classes when the learning feels like it matters, like I'm accomplishing something, I do the things in RSOs that I most enjoy... if that's the case, and we want to promote intrinsic motives for doing things, we've got to find a way to make them fun, and meaningful, and matter.
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Short post, because I'm also working on getting my rough draft of my book review written up, and also because this was the hardest post to write for me yet.
Not a definition, just a thought. When you are reading a good book and getting wrapped up in the story, you may be unaware of how you feel till afterwards. While you're doing it, the story takes over and who you are seems to disappear.
ReplyDeleteHi, Kim!
ReplyDeleteI think that feeling good is a big part of intrinsic motivation, but I agree that there's something more to it. A lot of the things I do to make others feel good happen to also make me feel good. Sometimes, though, there's a act I do because I feel called to do it. I don't necessarily feel good because of it, and I don't really feel bad if I don't do it, but there's a feeling from within that I must do it.
Helping set up for events around my house is one of these things. Sure, every once in a while I feel like I really accomplished something, but more often than not, I just feel compelled to help out. I know that I'm not going to be guilt-tripped into doing it, and there are other things (like reading) that I'd rather do, and yet I help set up.
This is a difficult topic, I agree. I think the ultimate example of a completely intrinsic act is found in the New Testament.